Wednesday, December 20, 2006

pass

haha shit i passed the driving test. no more L plate. no more bbdc lessons. no more abusive pakcik instructors.

but shit la, no car.

hahaha shiok stuff i drove all the way to safti to fetch iylia and then fetch izzat at his house at bukit merah then to vivo city. shiok stuff. considering i only received my temporary driving license hours ago. hahahaha. yay! kopi i passed earlier than you. i even knocked down pole during vertical parking. but tester was kind to me. we went to vivo city earle swensens to have dinner. coz jau my brother has just returned from london. hahaha that kid spent the first day back with his minah la who else. and then we walked around a bit before screwing off. i send izzat home first before almost getting lost in bukit merah. but no lah. i can find my directions no problem. i wanna drive some more. just like what shahira felt like. some newbie enthusiasm is good. hahaha.

and i'm flying off to europe tomorrow morning. byebye. you won't see me till semester begins. next year. yay byebye.

have fun anat group! at yingliang's house! hahaha.

Monday, December 18, 2006

spinese and engalay

Remember there was some hoo-haa when Stephen Rahman-Hughes acted as Hang Tuah in the musical Puteri Gunung Ledang? Alah when the makciks made some noise lah "why eh some ang moh become Hang Tuah...?" My message to the makciks: Wake up and smell Globalisation!

Because why? Because in another musical that is going to debut in New York very soon, Placido Domingo the Spanish tenor is going to act as Emperor Qin Shi Huang in the musical The First Emperor. Maybe Stephen Rahman-Hughes had some if not very little Malay blood in him. But Placido Domingo being even mildly Chinese? Woh...

Somebody call for a DNA test!

Friday, December 15, 2006

just to paint a bleak picture

Snell's Clinical Anatomy
Wheater's Functional Histology
Lippincott's Biochemistry
Netter's Atlas of Human Anatomy
Guyton's Textbook of Medical Physiology

sampai next year habis pun tak akan habis baca.
ishhh.
kalau habis baca pun tak habis faham.
double ishhh.

But at least I know I've made one correct diagnosis already this year. A hairline rib fracture. I palpated the point on the rib (the fifth rib) and asked some questions. Cos it's the fifth rib, which means it's near his nipple, he had to shift his nipple away before I palpated. I did not want to touch his nipple. YUX! Who's that person? Ahhh just somebody famous enough within the community. Or maybe infamous. Haha. Doesn't matter. He checked it with a doctor and I was correct, X-ray proven. What matters: I made a correct diagnosis.
YAY not bad I learn ok I did not zombie through med sch sem 1.

S03B we're having a gathering soon. Tomorrow evening. Arab St. Be there!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

holiday is finally here, you hear?

And now there is finally a proper breather since school properly began. There are so many things that are starting to excite me, such as pumping again (gosh, the wasting away is awful) and driving. This is it, just 4 more lessons and I'm sitting for the driving practical test. InsyaAllah, good stuff good stuff. I'm hoping the tester is good to me. Then JAU can come back from his LONDON and we can relak again one times good one. Last night was great, we overnighted at Rudy's, coz his parents went for a holiday and he needed company. HAHA. Izzat Iylia were there too, to wallop so many slices of pizza and chicken wings and waffles. Shiok stuff. Then Adz and Kopi turned up in the morning when Iylia had left. And we went Vivo City to relak again. Everyone bought something there, out of fun.


And I can't wait for Dec 21. It's my Eurotrip. Manchester, London, Paris and Rome. Yay :)








There was a time this year when DOWNSTAGELEFT came together to celebrate Hari Raya. Only that we went back to the 60s & 70s - the P. Ramlee era - and dressed up to style, like so:























fun!

Monday, December 04, 2006

kebutuhan

kebutuhan = keperluan

sedar tak yang kita semua ni ada kebutuhan?
dan sesetengah dari kita ni juga ada butuh (kaum Adam lah)
dan butuh tu sendiri ada kebutuhannya juga (hehe)

pelik,
aku terlihat perkataan tuhan terselit dalam perkataan kebutuhan itu sendiri
adakah elemen spiritual iaitu ketuhanan sesuatu yang kita semua perlukan dalam hidup?
macam, kalau takde tak sah gitu
betul ke?

pelik nombor dua,
kamus dewan memberikan contoh ayat di bawah ni:
"aku ni tak butuh wang"
betul ke? lebih-lebih lagi dari kamus melayu
ramai ke orang kita yang tidak butuh wang?
semua orang sekaya-raya manapun, tak akan tak pernah butuh wang
lebih kaya lebih dia butuhkan wang
habis tu, kaum melayu kita ni?
dahlah purata gaji bulanan kita adalah yang terendah berbanding dengan kaum cina dan india
dan peningkatannya juga yang terendah
siapa kita nak bohong dengan "aku ni tak butuh wang"
mungkin kamus kita kamus yang terlalu ideal
buat apa kita ikut kamus kalau hidup ni jauh dari yang ideal?


dahlah, aku lebih suka baca Guyton dan Snell
aku nak baca Guyton dulu, macam syiok baca Guyton

aku baru teringat!
tet tet tet tet tet tet tet tet tet butuh!
hahaha memori bolasepak di stadium kallang

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Respons dari DOWNSTAGELEFT

Maklum balas yang mencurah-curah terhadap inisiatif segolongan mahasiswa NUS yang mementaskan ' melayu.com.sg' sememangnya amat menggalakkan. Namun, tidak dapat dinafikan bahawa terdapat beberapa maklum balas yang walaupun berniat baik, telah tersasar dari tujuan asalnya kerana kurangnya penelitian yang terperinci.

Dalam usaha mereka untuk mewarisi tampuk pemerintahan di dalam masyarakat, golongan muda amat memerlukan sokongan padu dan bimbingan daripada mereka yang telah lama menyumbang kepada kemajuan masyarakat dan jauh lebih berpengalaman di dalam perlaksanaan sesuatu inisiatif; ringkasnya: warga veteran.

Amatlah menyedihkan jika fokus utama perbincangan lebih tertumpu kepada poster pementasan 'melayu.com.sg' dan bukan pementasan itu sendiri. Bahkan, tanggapan yang dibuat mengenai pementasan tersebut dibuat tanpa pemberi maklum balas itu sendiri menghadiri pementasan tersebut. Malahan, pihak pengurusan Espalanade dan juga DOWNSTAGELEFT sendiri telah mengadakan sesi soal jawab dan maklum balas sesudah persembahan tersebut bagi menjawab pertanyaan dan juga menerima saranan/kritikan dari penonton sendiri.

Sayangnya, peluang ini tidak dimanfaatkan oleh pihak-pihak tertentu yang lebih selesa membuat tanggapan yang melulu.

Sesuatu ide mahupun mesej di dalam sesebuah pementasan tidak terbatas hanya kepada sebuah poster. Jika keberkesanan sesuatu pementasan hanya dinilai berdasarkan sebuah poster semata, maka mereka yang berkecimpung di dalam bidang seni pementasan hanya perlu menumpukan daya minda mereka hanya kepada rekaan poster tanpa perlu menghabiskan wang, tenaga dan masa untuk menyiapkan sebuah pementasan yang bermutu.

Sokongan dan galakan juga perlu diberikan kepada generasi muda yang mahu mendatangkan suatu perubahan yang positif dan tidak menjadi golongan yang pasif semata. Jika sesuatu cetusan idea diremehkan melalui tanggapan semata, di manakah letaknya ruang bagi menjana minda yang progresif? Bagaimanakah dapat kita menyahut cabaran Perdana Menteri kita yang inginkan lebih ramai belia melibatkan diri di dalam hal ehwal kemasyarakatan dan menerajui kepimpinan masyarakat jika masih wujud sikap suka memperlekehkan usaha di kalangan masyarakat kita ini.

Objektif utama 'melayu.com.sg' adalah untuk mengkaji soal identiti Melayu dengan suatu kajian yang tidak terikat mahupun tertakluk kepada pegangan agama kita. DOWNSTAGELEFT dan panel skrip bagi pementasan tersebut ingin mengupas isu-isu yang berkaitan dengan identiti Melayu berdasarkan watak-watak yang wujud dan bukan direka seperti watak seorang wanita yang mengamalkan hubungan sejenis (lesbian), seorang tua yang menghabiskan kebanyakan masanya di masjid dan juga seorang ibu tunggal. Nilai-nilai yang dipegang oleh watak-watak ini akan mengetengahkan kepada penonton betapa nilai-nilai tersebut menyumbang kepada identiti Melayu itu sendiri.

Memang tidak dapat dinafikan bahawa seringkali perkataan Melayu dikaitkan dengan istilah Muslim namun sepertimana yang tertera di atas, ' melayu.com.sg' cuba menangani isu identiti ini dari aspek kemanusiaan, tanpa tertakluk kepada nilai-nilai keagamaan dan apa juapun nilai pegangan kita semata-mata.

Saya bersetuju dengan Puan Asmidar yang istilah "Melayu" mencernakan keindahan, kelembutan, kecantikan dan ini amat bersesuaian dengan orang Melayu itu sendiri. Namum di dalam menegakkan nilai yang ideal ini, perlukah kita membelakangkan realiti sebenar masyarakat kita. Adakah kita mengetepikan ibu-ibu tunggal yang terlanjur dan membiarkan remaja-remaja kita hidup dengan label "Hanyut" sedangkan inilah realiti masyarakat kita kita sebagaimana yang diketengahkan oleh Encik Alami Musa di dalam sesi dialog dengan mahasiswa Melayu Islam di NUS baru-baru ini? Beliau menekankan hakikat ini agar usaha kita untuk menjadi suatu masyarakat yang inklusif tidak perlu mengetepikan sebarang individu pun. Dasar inilah yang mendorong tercetusnya idea bagi ' melayu.com.sg'. Penyelidikan dan temubual telah dilakukan oleh pihak penulis dan pelakon bagi memahami dan mendalami watak-watak ini bagi melicinkan proses penyampaian mesej kepada para penonton. Proses ini diberikan penelitian yang amat teliti di dalam rangka membina suatu masyarakat yang progresif tanpa mengetepikan sebarang individupun.

Bahkan, selain daripada terhibur, terdapat sebilangan besar daripada penonton yang meninggalkan Esplanade pada hari pementasan tersebut dengan suatu kesedaran tentang perlunya mereka melakarkan sesuatu untuk mengubah dan memperbaiki keadaan masyarakat. Tidak kurang pula bilangan penonton dari kalangan "emas" kita yang menyanjung usaha DOWNSTAGELEFT untuk menganalisa watak-watak yang selama ini dibiarkan membisu dan menderita di dalam kesibukan kita membina masyarakat "cantik."

Pihak DOWNSTAGELEFT akan tetap menggunakan pendekatan pementasan bagi mengetengahkan isu dan realiti masyarakat kita. Pendekatan ini, beserta dengan usaha-usaha persatuan-persatuan, badan-badan dan individu-individu yang lain diharapkan dapat menyumbang kepada tercetusnya suatu masyarakat yang bukan sahaja menyedari akan nilai-nilai bangsanya yang ideal, namun juga menerima dengan hati yang terbuka akan realiti sebenar masyarakat kita.

DOWNSTAGELEFT masih muda dan perjuangan kami masih jauh. Oleh itu kami menerima sebarang teguran dan kritikan dari mana-mana pihak. Namun, amatlah diharapkan agar teguran yang diberi biarlah adil, bernas dan mengemukakan alternatif yang konstruktif tanpa perlu merendah-rendahkan daya usaha kami.

Sebelum saya akhiri, ingin juga saya jelaskan bahawa DOWNSTAGELEFT adalah kumpulan teater yang berdiri sendiri tanpa sembarang kaitan bersama Persatuan Bahasa Melayu Universiti Kebangsaan Singapura (PBMUKS). DOWNSTAGELEFT ditubuhkan awal tahun 2006 dan dianggotai oleh mahasiswa-mahasiswa yang bukan sahaja dari Universiti Kebangsaan Singapura ataupun yang berbangsa Melayu sahaja.

Semoga Allah meredhai setiap sumbangan kita terhadap kemaslahatan masyarakat khususnya dan sekaligus umat manusia amnya.

Yang benar,
Fezhah Maznan
Pengarah Artistik
DOWNSTAGELEFT

H/P: 91990977
E-mel: downstageleft@gmail.com

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

brouhaha

"Kalau inilah realiti yang akan ditunjukkan oleh orang-orang yang keluar dari menara gading, saya betul-betul sedih."

I would say that this is the reality shown not by future graduates. But this IS the reality shown by several groups within the Malay community itself, and these groups traverse various educational levels, especially those in the lower rungs of the educational ladder. We have seen our fellow Malays in such revealing tops in the streets (an obvious sign of the infiltration of Western influence), and we shake our heads each time. Or we write in to the local newspaper. Meaning we are not ready to accept this culture into our own.

So we had our play to ask this question to our audience. We shall present to you a non-mainstream culture, somthing that the society calls 'a problem'. We present this problem to you in the perspective of the affected problem individual himself (or herself). We are probing you, our Malay community, with these problems. We are not offering solutions (in response to the first article which is hoping the play would unearth solutions for such problems). We believe offering solutions will be rather limiting and restrictive and will undermine the whole idea of theatre, which is suppose to probe questions and awareness and perhaps, reveal some understanding. In that sense, giving solutions would be to cheat our audience. And who are we to give solutions? Anyway, back to the problem, the answer as to whether our community can accept such cultures is now apparent. The answer is no (since we are still so concerned about dressing!). Or maybe not yet. Or maybe, never. I'm not saying it is a bad thing that we do not accept such things. Maybe never is better for our society.

The point is, I think ultimately it is good that we are discussing these issues. If this is the effect achieved for the rest, then I believe we have achieved some form of success just from our publicity of the production itself, even though it is achieved via controversial means.

However, sometimes we do get ahead of ourselves. And failure to take a step back to see the bigger picture may lead to disastrous outcomes. I think it is a valid comment that we observe tata-susilah and also kesopanan pakaian even though we want to throw a burning controversial social issue at society, in our pursuit of theatre. I think we could have exercised more restraint but we didn't hold back. Sometimes in theatre, one cannot hold back, but in other areas, one should learn to not take a step too far. I guess then this as a lesson for everyone?

"Buatlah sesuatu yang boleh dijadikan ikutan dan contoh yang baik sesuai dengan ilmu yang dimiliki."

I can agree with this statement. Here I hope what I have offered you as my take on the brouhaha as something that is 'sesuai dengan ilmu yang dimiliki'.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

MELAYU.COM.SG

"Aku nak sembahyang, dia tak nampak sembahyang aku."
"Ish kau tengok pompuan ni, tak habis-habis talipon aku pasal reception."
"Kids? You don't have to get married to have kids."
"Aku tak tau plak sejak bila kain nih ada magic."
"My dad's a Muslim and my mum, a Catholic."
"I know I am a Malay, but no, I refuse to live like one, with such disappointing attributes."
"Ada empat pompuan kat rumah ni, semua pemalas. Semua tak boleh harap."
"Aku tak peduli. Aku akan tetap pergi Hard Rock bila ada Reggae Nite."
"Kau ingat budak muda nak sangat ke tengok wayang kat masjid tu?"
"Sayang...bangun sayang. God, I love the way you look when you're asleep."
"Mana kau? Beranakkan dia, diri dah setengah mati, mana kau?"
"Ini interview untuk apa? Anak ni dari universiti mana?"


Inilah Melayu kita dan masalah-masalah Melayu kita. Bukan semuanya dapat dipaparkan tapi sekadar yang mampu, apa yang lebih menarik itulah yang dipaparkan. Bukanlah Melayu kita ni hanya bermasalah sahaja, cuma menerusi masalah inilah kami harap dapat mengetengahkan kelompok-kelompok yang mungkin dilupai, tidak dihiraukan, diketepikan sebelah, dan mungkin terputus hubungan sekaligus. ia sebagai cerminan untuk kita semua masyarakat Melayu Singapura. Tapi, sediakah kita menerima mereka? Adakah mereka itu memang telah terlangkah jauh sungguh untuk dikembalikan ke pangkal jalan? Atau adakah kita akan terus buta dan membabi-buta dan buat-buat buta?

Jawablah sendiri. Aku akan mengemaskinikan diari maya ku bila masa mengizinkan.



Thursday, November 02, 2006

you know what you are missing. i have just the solution:

17 & 18 NOV 8PM
ESPLANADE THEATRE STUDIO
TICKETS ON SALE AT SISTIC






watcha waiting for?
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Monday, October 30, 2006

on a rainy night from kembangan

Taxi Driver: Hallo! HALLO! Why you never cancel?
Me: You are calling me now, how to cancel?
TD: Hallo!? You better cancel...You make booking what...Call the office, the office is calling me...
Me: HELLO? If you are calling me now, how I call the office? You hang up now then I can call office to cancel. You put down now.
TD: No Why you never cancel? I cannot pick up passengers know.... You quickly call now. Must call now.
Me: Since when do people cancel taxi booking?
TD: Mister you better call the office hor. You make me drive here all the way then never wait for me.
Me: But another taxi came earlier.
TD: No NO I want to know why you never call office.
Me: I called but the office say "Please hold while we connect you to a Customer Assistant". But the Customer Assistant never pick up.
TD: You call Office nowwwwww!!
Me: (pasrah) okok fine.
TD: THANK KYUK!

Friday, October 20, 2006

'melayu.com.sg'


the absolute reason for keeping 17 & 18 November free

Monday, October 09, 2006

craziest toys this raya!

latest stikfas action figures, now available at all leading toystores. batteries sold separately.
















gua nak cakap sikit.
wa tak makan nasi belen.
wa tak main.
nasi belen lu boleh simpan sua.
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Friday, October 06, 2006

playing & skiving

Last monday I played soccer at SRC field. I rushed down straight after Physiology class. I didn't stretch, obviously can't drink water coz I'm fasting. And then later in the match, I pulled my hamstring. To be exact, I pulled my biceps femoris long head. Weiliang says Haram! How can you pull you hamstring? Your HAM-string? Hahahahaha. Cock.

I missed pbm iftar. I went for my mandarin class. See, I'm a good boy. But I donated anyway.

I have not pumped or run for a long long time. Nevermind, Ramadhan is for cutting. Can see top 4 already. Hahahaha.

Today, at the Anatomy Hall, there were removing the skin of a newly arrived cadaver. But the dick was erected. Wonder when will it go down. Hmmm. Oh there was this book that Ghani loves to buy, something like a Malay Reader's Digest. I think it's called...I forgot what it's called. It contained this article about this man who had a heartattack while masturbating. So he died with his hands cupped around his erected genitals. Kesian seh. Tapi kelakar jugak.



I...dah ah dah malas.


OH keep 17&18 November free.

Friday, September 29, 2006

JAUHARI FAREWELL TRIBUTE















ON this very day, one of my brothers will be leaving me. He has packed his bags and is bracing himself for what will be an overwhelmingly intimidating and challenging experience. But he is there because he is pursuing his ambitions. He has dreams, big dreams. And this is but one of the steps that he has chosen to take so as to get that one step closer to realising those big dreams. He knows how big the assignment is. He knows himself that he is a standard-bearer for the community. He knows will be constantly watched, what with the prestigious scholarship that he has under his belt. He knows all the sacrifices, long hours, struggles and sickness that he went through have so far paid off.

Now, for the big moment. Now, for the real world. Now, for real. He will be leaving behind his dearest parents, precious siblings, endearing teachers, special loved one and his brotherhood of sorts. But for sure, for damn sure, there is no looking back. This boy is what he is. He will do all of us proud. But for this, I say, do yourself proud JAU!

Truly a bastion of what is right and honourable.

A tribute to
Mohamed Jauhari B Mohd Arsad
Imperial College London, UK
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Monday, September 25, 2006

MY SIS IS IN MANCHESTHER




and she visited Old Traffod yesterday. Shit.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

makkau! gambar classic seh!

habislah korang-korang muka yang tercampak dalam gambar sec1 ni. jangan terasa ya? :) buat kenangan.

 Posted by Picasa

Friday, September 15, 2006

APA LU TENGOK




















AKU PUNYA SUKA AH Posted by Picasa

Friday, September 01, 2006


MEMBERS FOR LIFE

Thursday, August 17, 2006

it's been 4 days..

Eh ALAMAK. I missed yesterday's DOWNSTAGE LEFT event man. Sounded fun. But ergh, next time InsyaAllah. Medicine's been fun. So far it's been good. Nothing big. Lessons are catered to jog your memory after the long break from studies. And there are plenty of long breaks in between sessions these days. Hours spent doing nothing, but too short to go home.

But I'm sad. Rather dissatisfied. I need to pump.

OH! ADZFAR got his driving license this Tue! Ait ait. Powerlah mat. Truly the one who knows how to drive. 12 points, so far the lowest amongst those who have passed. Not to mention those who failed, like Kopi. Haha Kopi hopeless sia. His points are enough to count as ...rugby scores? ayye. Yeah man, this year's Hari Raya, we have a dedicated driver, though Jau will be in UK. Haha ait. I have FTT after this. This the only time this week I'm home this early. Thanks to Prof Kaur who dismissed us early for anat prac. YAY hope I pass easily then can book driving test already. InsyaAllah.



KILL.

Monday, August 14, 2006

KILL!

Suddenly, I realise that tomorrow is the start of lessons. Proper lectures, when school starts at 8am again. And, I somehow feel sooo unprepared. I don't know what's gonna happen. I am shrouded in a cloud of uncertainty. It's at a stage where I feel thoroughly uncomfortable and yet I also feel totally helpless. Este says it's the university blues. Hakim says take things as they come, just like what Harun says. I think it's a bout of something I dunno, something intangible, something which is enraging something inside me, something that's making me angry, uncomfortable, sad and angry again in endless cycles. I think it has happened to me before. I felt it more than once in RJ, but I can't pinpoint to what extent this current bout is similar its predecessors.



KILL! I certainly need to pump. I hate this disintegration.


On a separate note - a rather more upbeat one too - I actually managed to persuade Kopi, Rudy and Izzat to come for the barbecue. Haha. Not bad. Actually Rudy was bluffed into coming but it didn't matter (",) coz anyway there are lots of people there that knows him and the rest of them. Thank God for them. If not it'd be another one of those out-of-place moment again. Pui. Good food, great conversation all round. Sure makes the start of school look not so bleak after all. And found out that Shaf got into Med!! YA finally!! I bet she's very happy :) good stuff shafia! So now the "halal presence" certainly looks more impressive.

And the funniest thing was that that night, Siti Fairuz had to send like soo soo many people home and none lived near her. Haha damn poor thing ah. All the way to Boon Lay at like almost midnight. Apparently, we spent nearly an hour in the car travelling to and fro. HAHA gila ah damn long. But she the pro. Next time it's our turn to drive her around. Return the favour lah katakan.


Ok selamat. I want to sleep.

And Liverpool beat Chelski 2-1. HAHA TAKE THAT JOSE MOURINHO! But I still support Man Utd. FULHAM YOU WATCH OUT!

Goodnight :)


KILL!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

some things to think about

on national day, we happened to be picnicking right beside ariff (rjc) and his family. i had fallen asleep for awhile in the tent, then when i woke up, ariff wanted to play soccer against us. so we played. haha, but the unfortunate thing is, we all left with scars and bruises that can match any rugby game i've been in. my shin can bear testimony. it has 3 red bruised marks. yeap. good eh?

i am quite nervous about school. i have yet to buy the more important books (snell, netters, guyton) and the whole schedule about school. i don't know about the timetable for medicine, whether we can take up other modules like ppl from other facs. all i know so far is everyday lecture begins at 8. and should end by 12, or latest 1. then there is probably tutorials, practicals or other things like First Aid! haha. and CCA. yes. CCA. this despite me thinking that i will go thru uni without a single CCA. hahaha fool. but somehow, this makes me feel occupied. occupied in a good way. not occupied because i have to dig a trench, make sure my platoon mates are also digging and observing safety, make sure the concertina wires and barbed wires are up, make sure water is replenished, etc. hahaha. that is occupied in a bad way, to me.

i have driving now. this after having consumed so much durian, potato chips, and a full load of rice and fruits. i think i'm gonna be sleepy. the last time i went for a night slot like this, the instructor asked: Hey isn't it bedtime for you already?! HAHAHAHA. boo to that. i take night lessons coz it's so much cheaper. cheap is good. saving is good. understand?

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

owned

I think I just owned myself today. How on earth does one get kicked out of mandarin class? I just did. I must restart next week. From Stage 1. Argh. Nvm slowly la ok one step at a time.

And last nite, Monday night, had to go all the way to Bishan to pump. Thanks ah Jau. Abit jauh considering I had the longest meeting I've ever been to that day. Hahaha.

And it's quite disconcerting to know random people visit your blog. Well, blogs are probably meant to be this way.

Tomorrow, national day, so I think I shall pump, then blade and run. Hahahahaha. Work it!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

now i think i want to watch the campaign to confer the public service medal to jbj. sounds...controversial! sounds good.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

....

hahaha i played two matches in two days. considering how unfit i was, those two matches serve as a reminder that i have to run. hahaha. i heard foxtrot just did 10click run. haha im sure i will never be able to finish half the distance in my current state of stupor. but whatever. i was walking throughout the matches. nevermind la, now old man already. i think my knee is buckling. maybe can get pes downgrade. hahaha. but i scored today. so who cares. yeah and i'm going to school tomorrow morning. that's like gonna be the routine for like the rest of my life already. yay. or boo. it doesn't matter. i have made the choice. it's time to live by it. so goodnght and have fun in brunei. hahaha.

Friday, August 04, 2006

eh alamak i forgot to add this.

I wanna watch THE SILENCE OF THE KITTENS by Wild Rice. This play has got some good comments in the papers. Only thing is, I've nobody to watch it with me. BOO!!!

gombak can go home okay

i hate gombak gym. or rather, i hate pumping alone. i just got back anyway. it is on a day like this when i question whether it was worth it even. the money invested. the time wasted. ah loser ah. i got tired in like maybe 5mins. so unmotivated. delta gym rocks, especially the new routine that i tried out for almost 3 weeks already. with jau and izzat, we would maghrib at ar-rabitah first then pump the night away. definitely seeing the results. but tonight i had to make an exception coz of driving. i booked a 940pm slot well in advance, seeing how soon school will start so i had to chiong as much as i can while i'm still free. 940pm slots are like the cheapest. and i kind of like driving at night. argh i'm still pissed at the lacklustre gym session. i hate gombak gym!!!

on another note, can't wait for bola tomorrow. hahaha. with such an unproductive session just now, i will definitely not be aching for a good game. aiiit. adz that mat got stupid dental appointment so he's not coming, argh. boo. who ask you to wear braces? argh i hope my boots are like not garing. if not confirm pecah tomorrow. puas selisih jauhkan.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

dum bass

ohkay

Driving. I'm still a noob when it comes to clutch control. The car jerks. Maybe if I look at it from the outside, it should probably jerk like those gangsta-rapper crazy cadillacs which can actually dance. Haha loser. But, today's one was fun, coz I just went at 70kph almost all the way. I went to I think jurong west agaknya, some mrt stations there (Chinese Garden? or was it Lakeside?) entah. The western side of Singapore only reminds me of one thing: OCS! Haha. Then I think the instructor kenyang lepas lunch, so he ngantuk then fell asleep. I think it's typical for these instructors to fall asleep. So I drove all the way to Sungei Kadut. Haha. That's like where so many factories are. But now and then, he would mumble his instructions, while his eyes are closed. Haha. Then sometimes, he would put his five fingers in front of my face - that's a signal that I'm exceeding 50kph. Haha. Then he goes back to sleep. But shiok ah. A break away from the monotonous Bukit Gombak area.

Then I went to NUS for the PBM welcome tea. Ait. Not bad. Good food good brownies. I signed for downstage left and persuratan. Hoho. Time is the essence, boy. Oh, I think the MS people are supposed to call, semalam, but still no calls yet. Hurhur.

And I realised I should sign up for as many classes as I want to this semester. Coz I don't think I'll get to do tutoring at all until earliest Dec. Coz now, the period's very near prelims for most people. Very near exams, very unlikely there are students looking for tutors. So I shall just keep my eyes and ears peeled if by any chance (or, par hasard, haha I found this in my French jotter book) oppurtunities come along. So, if you know of students, TELL ME!!! I think I'm qualified enough to teach, aren't I?

For almost a month already, I haven't touched the soccer ball. Coz simply there hasn't been any oppurtunity to play. Then suddenly, 3 matches come up so quickly. Tomorrow the med people wanna play at the field, but its from 6-8pm, macam takde maghrib gitu eh. Somemore, I've driving at night so it would be rush. And on sat morning, I've to choose either to play with the MedFac soccer people or Peiqian with a game against the J1s. Since my 'beloved' coach Mr Kevin Low called up, I shall have to vee MedFac. Next time la MedFac. I wanna play with my friends. Haha. Ayye I don't have the MedFac soccer guys' numbers. Shoots they'll confirm be a man short. Haha. Die. But it's so exciting. Long time never touch ball.

OKAY that just came out wrong.

selamat ah. nak baca Quran.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

matric fair

i love gym. i love pumping iron. my routine is back on track, now that i've found some partners to go with me.

i bought a laptop for school (and for play). should be a good buy, i hope. the only irritating part of it was the buying of the laptop itself. coz parents weren't allowed to even browse at the laptops, so how on earth are they suppose to compare models? coz in the end, the parents are paying. so they make the ultimate decision. then. then the paying alone takes you from point a to b to c to.... alot of points until you can find yourselves from mpsh to yih. and then at yih u still have to wait long long. dope.

and i like only signed up for ms and pbm. something which i thought i would not do. i dunno why. and i didn't sign up for any sports thing at all. why? ergh. dunno dun ask.

and i signed up for nus debit card. ergh...

and in my matric card, i look more like a coal-miner/coolie/slave labourer/illegal immigrant than a doctor.

but ayye... good stuff anyway.




Saturday, July 29, 2006

before school starts,

Despite my lackadaisical routine of slumbering around at home, I at least managed to reestablish a workout programme. Now I've managed two sessions already, thanks to having contacted Izzat and Iylia - these are guys who are still in NS, but whose commitments are far lesser than a serious trainee. Now the body feels good again, more alive, more invigorated, more ready for school. Time to get more into pumping. The feeling of ripped-ness and tearing/shredding is definitely awesome, a welcome boost to my lack of physical activity. It certainly bodes well for the remainder week or so of so-called freedom.

Oh yes, I'm driving more too. I want my license! Hopefully, by year's end, InsyaAllah. :)

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

the last hope

When i visited Jun Ren yesterday, I chuckled to myself when I heard this:
That every year, there is someone from Raffles Rugby to claim the prestigious Infantry Sword Of Honour from his OCS stint from the January batch.

From Anand, to Cecil, to NingYan, to Kylash. All came from Raffles Rugby. This year, what happened was that there were a number of us (Raffles Ruggers) in OCS. So initially there were Jau, EC, Ang Wei, Joel Louis, Jon Yap, etc etc etc and me too. Most of them got posted to other places, like ADA for Joel Louis and Signals for Jon Yap. So the last one standing was guess who? ME! Haha I was the last hope. And that is well dashed by now. Coz I disrupted to do medicine! I mean not that I was in some position to get the SOH anyway, seeing how much I get whacked by my instructors for my relak approach to everything. Me and the army are like oil and water , they don't mix (is the word immiscible? ergh don't remember). Heh. But it sure feels good to know that I was the last hope. Damn damn good. I enjoy cheap thrills like this. :)

oh wait, Ananthakumar is still in Infantry. There is another one last hope!Or maybe Khalrul Anwar bin Yahya from the later batch! haha he has neck now hoorah!

LOOKING FOR A TUTOR?

Assalamu'alaikum wr. wb.

LOOKING FOR A TUTOR?

Look no further. Anyone who's willing to improve his/her grades for the exams, just feel free to contact me, Fairuz, at 9746 4126 or anaktamingsari2@hotmail.com.

I will teach YOU the way to earn more As, insyaAllah, if you haven't already got them.
I will teach YOU the way to pass if all you want if just to not fail.
I will teach YOU to teach yourself the smarter way about handling exam questions.


So if you're a secondary school student (anything, sec1-4, doesn't matter) living in the West of Singapore, and are in dire need of tuition, please contact me at the abovementioned number.

I can teach Mathematics, Chemistry, Physics, Biology and Combined Science (and Additional Mathematics too if you wish).
Plus, I can help give you inputs for your Malay/Higher Malay at no additional costs (for the moment though) and supplement you with Malay reading materials.

Some background of myself:
Currently a first year Medical Student at NUS.
GCE O Level (2003): 6pts L1R5

GCE A level (2005): 4As, 2 Merits for Phy and Chem S Papers, B3 for GP
Call me up to find out more.

The lessons will be conducted at your home.
Scheduling/length of each session is flexible (e.g: 4-5 times a month, 1.5hr weekly sessions).
Fees are negotiable (I'm a first timer but don't worry, you'll be in good hands).

So do call, InsyaAllah.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

THE front row bench

I finally got down to proper driving lessons, as in practical, and yeah despite how easy it is, I had trouble with clutch control. Arranged with Joel to visit poor Jun Ren. Oh man, he is really really damn poor thing. So much to suffer yet so much still in store ahead of him. I personally felt good that I managed to talk so much with him, after so long. Definitely more than a year, since we last all sat down all over the front-row benches of RJ Canteen - traditionally shared by rugby, soccer, and hockey boys - to chitchat and lepak whenever we step foot in the canteen. Before morning assembly, that's where we met to discuss test answers which had been leaked from those who had taken theirs earlier. Or waiting for training to start, if no one was already playing touch by then. By touch, I mean touch rugby...well I'm sure you know. Or after training, to shower then to go for dinner. For me it would be to go for pre-dinner, coz I would still have dinner left for me at home. Or on non-training days, to wait for people to go for weights, watch movies yada yada. Ergh these days don't come back no more. Jun Ren is strong, he'll come back strong, let God be willing. :)


On another note, before I slept last night, I recited a few pages of the Holy Quran. One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind! Amin.


Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good,and save us from the torment of the Fire'

Qur'an 2:201

Sunday, July 23, 2006

medbooks & otherbooks

After sifting through them books and booklists, I only found out that I really need these books for medicine. The rest I have already. Yay. Can save money :) And that website is damn powerful. I haven't even checked out the cd that is power-packed with tutorial answers passed down by the M2s. I hope all these help!

For anatomy:
1. Frank Netter's Atlas Of Human Anatomy
2.
Richard S Snell's Clinical Anatomy for Medical Students

For Physiology:
1. Textbook of Medical Physiology (
Guyton and Hall)



And, I finished reading The Zahir. So many truths in the book. Or is it just that when one picks up a book, one is just so convinced by the coherency of the author that everything he says is true. And the acomodador (that's a Mexican Indian term for the "giving-up point"), that's so true of everyone. The Zahir gives me a sign. It's time to find my own Zahir.


Ohwells, on to The Devil Wears Prada... :)



oops apadah!

I unexpectedly woke up at 130pm today. I was thinking last night, hmmm, maybe wake up early to run. Maybe. But it never happened. I didn't even tidy up my shelves. But its not too bad, since all the med books are already there on the shelves. I realize I am lacking Anat books. Which is important, according to seniors. Maybe I can get them from Asrie. But why oh why do I have like 2 Biochem books? I even heard some seniors don't bother buying them, the notes are deemed sufficient. Heh it doesn't matter, I just appreciate all the help my cousin gave me. Handing the books down to me already is such a very kind thing, since the books are really really expensive wherever you go.

OH! And today, a very good buddy of mine, JAU, received his utmost gift so far. He was presented with the PSC Open Merit Scholarship, which apparently received some coverage from Suria. CONGRATULATIONS BRO! But omg I missed it! Sorry Jau! I wasn't home early enough so I missed the rerun as well. Argh. I think he's the sole Malay recipient of it this year. Wonderful achievement mat. Haha. But basket you must spend more time with us before you fly off. Okay? Don't just say InsyaAllah.


some light at the end of the tunnel...














in ocs, here we hang out...or get hung out to dry...


and who is diana?

Friday, July 21, 2006

so medicamp?

Aloha Loyang. I was in Snow White. We won alot but then got like last. Like wth la!? So what I don't care. I think the M2s are super rich. And the M1s also. I bet all of them are like driving to school. In posh cars. Their own cars. Basket. And everyone's gonna be on the dean's list and mug super hard even though they say they won't. And buy everything, including books laptops and skeletons. Hah! But its fun coz Raymond Ong was there. Haha superduper cockster. And I like made some new friends here and there. Okla. So wtv. Typical orientation.


I don't care.


Nothing's stopping me, you, and all of us from wanting to get what we want.



InsyaAllah I will get what I want, if I work hard for it. InsyaAllah.

Monday, July 17, 2006

lazysunday

Yesterday was a lazy sunday spent almost entirely at home. But it was good I thought. I read a lot from The Zahir. And it also dawned on me that somehow whatever we are reading can mirror what we actually are facing in real life. I do feel like I am the main protagonist in The Zahir. Omg so when I was reading that book yesterday, I had to put it down a few times just for reality check. Haha so that I know I wasn't dreaming. My goodness. That is why Paulo Coelho is such a powerful man. Brazilians may be more known for their football and samba, but he is a pioneer in the art of writing. I tested my sony speakers, yah they do sound awesome. Good enough for me. :)

We went east coast to "briskwalk". Haha like real. My parents are too unfit. I suppose yesterday made no difference to me, I need to run soon. Or else, I will definitely grow fat. Growing fat, or worse, remaining thin but growing rotund around the waist is a no-no. Its one of my biggest fears. Haha. I will run. Soon. Haha:)

We went airport to eat at Swensens. Like eeeee. The portions are too small my goodness. Cheat my (father's) money. And the desserts are not that nice anymore. Why ah? Don't have QC ah?

Sunday, July 16, 2006

bros

I'm just online so often these days. Hee I wonder why :P But today I finally think I'll put a rest to my flagrant spending spree. I bought a Sony in-ear earphones which totally match my iPod Nano and they sound totally awesome. Haha that was at taka today. Which was after I had to queue up for almost an hour for Pirates tickets. Thankgod I still managed to grab the 530pm show for Iylia, Adz and Kopi. If not, none of them would have turned up. Haha. See lah, that's the life of a disrupted army boy. You also long for the weekend, coz at least you won't be so lonely with your bros around. Weekdays are the worst days. There is almost nobody around, so sad. Unless of course, you have camps to attend. Haha like nothing better to do like that. Exactly, because I've nothing better to do, I'm gonna attend another camp next week. Medicamp. Geez my inbox is constantly flooded with their posts, I end up getting irritated and just deleting them without reading. Haha :P So okay, stop spending so much money. Maybe I should spend more time sleeping. Sleeping, I heard, is a grand luxury in medicine school and later on in life as a doctor-to-be. Yup, InsyaAllah :) I feel like reading the Holy Quran byebye :)

Saturday, July 15, 2006

runit

i bought some last minute closing down sale items yesterday. quite important lah considering uni will start and i do not want to be wearing the same thing over and over again. hee. well thanks to adzfar i got further 15% off, saving me some more money. i really need to find in-ear earphones soon, the current ones that apple provides can't fit into my ears. argh. unless of course somebody wanna sponsor. what are the chances of that happening? zero huh.

i was almost late for driving theory just now. it was so boring. and dry as usual. so when they asked for volunteer to sit on the $40,000 chair with the airbag, i thought wth just volunteer la. haha, quite fun, the airbag suddenly explodes in front of me. haha the instructor obviously thought it was funny. merepek la. i shud haf signed up for BTT earlier then i can start practical earlier. now by the looks of things, i will have to start practical when school opens. ayye, that means, more nights and weekend burnt. haha but don't care ah, the faster i get my license, the better.

alright, gonna watch pirates with my bros later. time to catch up with 'em. seeya :)

Friday, July 14, 2006

reperio eeeeps

Ola. The last few days were spent at NUS, had Camp Reperio with the malay&muslim society. OMG man, it's like its the first camp I went to alone, coz all my friends are still stuck in camp. NS liabilities. Ish ish, I've got my own liability to serve in maybe 6-7 years' time. So I was almost like a lost sheep. Haha. I was the only guy from my batch la. So it was kind of boring having to be in my situation. Further, I don't know any of the guys prior to this, except for maybe Ibnur and Raffli who were from RI/RJ... oh well... But I loved the Night Walk. Haha, shit Harun made me jump and scream lik shit in the abandoned house. Apa seh. Oh NUS macam eeeky la. Don't really fancy it so far. Kejap-kejap, "BAIK KAMAL! BAIK NADIA! BAIK HAFIZ!!" everything also BAIK this and BAIK that. It got irritating, if they didn't realize it. Yeah and the food sucked badly. The dinner at labrador cannot make up for the awful food thruout camp. OMG I am so negative. At least I know of more people entering NUS this year. Hmmm... My 5 years of intensive medicinal studies will begin in about a month's time and I'm so unprepared. But InsyaAllah, alang-alang menyeluk perkasam biar sampai ke pangkal lengan, so I will really put my all. InsyaAllah. :)




Monday, July 10, 2006

finale


Forza Azzuri! Incredible incredible. That sums up Italy's performance at this World Cup Finals, so incredible that I had to use the word twice. I bet not many had expected them to be crowned World Champions, certainly not me. I was seriously thinking BRAZIL BRAZIL BRAZIL. Haha but oh wells, Ronaldo and Co, this was not your time. What a fitting farewell for Alessandro Del Piero, the forgotten golden boy of Italian football. And Pippo Inzaghi. And boy oh boy, Fabio Cannavaro looked every bit like the best defender in the world. No wonder Juve wins almost everything. Behind Cannavaro, they still have Gianluigi Buffon, the best keeper in the world (maybe Petr Cech may want to argue about this). He denied Zinedine Zidane in extra time what would have been a killer header. That save, with such an exquisite twisting of the torso with a single leap into the air to solidly palm the bullet-like ball into safety. Such poetry in motion. Such lovely movement that made my waking up at 2am all the more worth it.

Zizou zizou! Everyone would definitely ask "Pourquoi?" for that silly and foolish headbutt into the heart of Marco Materazzi, one of the many Italians who played like stallions that night. Zidane signed off his career with a maniacal red card, perhaps an ending that nobody would have predicted. But Zidane is special. After all, he came out of international retirement because of an encounter in his sleep. When he decides to hang up his golden adidas boots, let him do it in every way he wants. We do not have to feel sad for the way it ended. Let's just bid him a fitting "Au revoir!".


and i have to go for camp tonight. seeya on thursday when i'll be back InsyaAllah.




and i found this photo of my class at ronald's house. hahaha this was when hpf was still our civics tutor. hahaha. :)

Sunday, July 09, 2006

dud


I'm almost done reading Fight Club, boy oh boy is it an angsty book. Its almost like a me-against-the-world kind of book, which I happen to like. Haha. Brilliant novel, I should move on to watch the movie itself.

That aside, yesterday was supposed to an outing day, but in the end, people can't make it. So again, another burnt weekend. I don't care coz I got my Nano! Haha dig that.. Anyhow, I am such a techie noob. I had to ask Matin how to operate the iTunes software. Spent almost 2 hours on that thing alone last nite, so much so that I couldn't wake up for the Ger-Por 3rd/4th Place Playoff. I remembered in 1998 when I had prepared so much, including 2 alarm clocks plus coffee to wake up for the Brazil-France final, then I just simply overslept. Haha loser. Well, InsyaAllah for today's Italy-France final, it won't happen again. What are the chances of lightning striking twice?

And!!! Waiting for BTT to end is just excruciating! I can't move on to any practical lesson. That means my progress in driving will be stalled to almost the time to start uni. That means, I'll have to double up on night and weekend lessons, which means I'll also have to pay more and have less time at home and my parents won't be too happy and yada yada. You get my point ya? OMG that sounded like LTA Jarel. Haha.

I also realised I haven't had any workout the past week. Time to change that. Tomorrow morning, confirm, I'll head for the gym. Then again, after World Cup Finals, I might not be able to wake up! HAHA loser.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

ala fight club


The 3 ways to make napalm:

1) Mix equal parts of gasoline and frozen orang juice concentrate
2) Mix equal parts of gasoline and diet cola
3) Dissolve crumbled cat litter in gasoline until the mixture is thick

enjoy :)

Monday, July 03, 2006

one down

I traipsed down to NUS today, UHWC to be exact, for my medical check up. It was supposed to be first thing in the morning. But, because I slept so late last night, I could only force myself to wake up at 11. What more, I went back to SAFTI to collect the letter that authorizes me to collect back my pink ic, my newest symbol of freedom. Freedom works on many levels, you'll soon realise this once you enter the army, I tell you. It's the one precious thing, besides your lives and your friend's lives, that you don't ever want to surrendur. Your weekend is the most basic level of freedom, and at certain places where I've been, it's the most looked-forward thing for everyone, including the commanders. Well, enough about the army.

I will have to adjourn back to CMPB this week. I still haven't collected my pink ic. :(

Looking around the greens, I saw sprinkles of freshmen having games. Wonder if the 2 camps I've signed up for are gonna be just the same... Eeeps, better be better. Well, at least my medical check up is done. One less hassle to confront with! Hoorah :)

Friday, June 30, 2006

eh...got alot of things to do la

Finally, I get to disrupt. It is true what Wilson Ong told me. That the feeling of disruption is the best feeling you'll ever get in OCS. Ok, that as well as the end of Platoon Field Camp cum Ex Spade, and the end of all the other field camps for that matter. The last few days with the Medicine guys at Foxtrot was weird coz everyone else in the wing was rushing here and there to get things done while we just had to do saigang and become enemies during Ex Welcome. That was double good stuff besides being static targets for mosquitoes.

Now, what I really need to do is to sort myself out. For one, all the uniforms and bags from army are causing mayhem at home now. I need to first wash them, then pack them neatly into that big black giant duffel before I can safely store them one side. Then, I need to take out all the basic tees and JC books and notes to give them to someone else. Coz they are seriously taking up too much space in my room. I can't stand clutter. Then, I need to sort out the medicine books into my shelves, which is filled to the brim like germany's world cup stadia. Today I will go for an evening run and tomorrow will be soccer with Geoffrey and gang. That will be fun. And world cup quarter finals will take place too, how can i ever miss that? And I've signed up for Camp Reperio and Medicamp. Hahaha hope they're good fun. :) Suddenly I realise I have a lot of things to do. Oh must go for medical checkup and sign up for driving lessons. OMG I really have a lot of things to do.

Sunday, June 25, 2006


EH! BORINGNYAAAA!













this is so random. when in the army, you're bound to encounter such people.

Thursday, June 22, 2006


a view through the nighthawk. that's abraham jordan, yasdie, me and david daniel from left to right.

thats me in front and yinghao at the back, truly shag even before platoon field camp had started.

hand held rocket illum during gpmg live firing!

watermelon heads at platoon field camp in the jungles of marsiling. this one i cannot forget

foxtrot platoon 3 section 1 at the cadet mess during happy hour...

the ippt run that got me gold in ocs

disruption!!!

oh yes it's confirmed! disruption is on. just carry on till the 1st of july ans then that's it. goodbye infantry. on this fateful day, i called my section to come over for lunch cum tea. unfortunately, only 5 guys turned up, but thank god my instructor was available. such a nice young man. they loved the food obviously. i'm gonna collect my a level cert and yearbook tomorrow and probably play soccer. yep i doubt i will have such freewill to do any of such things once medicine starts. but the world cup is on. so wait...

Sunday, May 28, 2006


johnny fairplay :)

master craftsman

senang di....ri!

and the cities below

mummy's boy, duh

icy, i see

tabla boy and "yo! yo!" girl

delirium of being frozen to a chain

icepack

firers watch your front!

squeeze

prayers and lights

three's definitely not a crowd

sheesha ala turka

atop istanbul, not yet the world

sleepyhead during aidilfitri late night visiting

of hopes and dreams...

This is what stuff of hopes and dreams are made of. After quite some lull over here, and having shifted my attention to writing on a hardcopy journal as a result of my being in ocs, I feel this blog is due for a very important update. Here goes.

I am fine, healthy, fitter than ever, and probably fresher than fresh can be. The disillusionment has sort of evaporated thanks to the wonderful wonderful news I receieved just a week ago. That is, that I was accepted to study MEDICINE at the NUS! Alhamdulillah. It's a dream. That was such a boost, such a rewarding outcome knowing how much I've poured in in school and beyond. It has taught me so much lessons, in being quietly confident of my own abilities, in never chewing more than I can swallow, in always being faithful to God and to my parents, in always putting in my all and holding true to what I believe in. I have definitely benefitted from the system and I intend to pursue it till the very end. What has happened must have a hikmah behind it and I believe I must not let up ever.

OCS. Yes OCS. It's my bane but also my joy. For instance, I get disillusioned very quickly by military regimentation - sad to say, it's part and parcel of army life - yet I benefit quite a lot from the trainings. Firstly, my fitness is definitely a lot better. My physique's showing definition. Haha. And my communication skills has jumped quite a few notches up. All I await now is the dreadful Ex Spade and Platoon Field Camp. Then, when and if the disruption letter comes, it'll be another time to celebrate. But, I shall not count my chickens till the eggs hatch.

Also, being in the Social Nite Committee has also helped keep me very very occupied in OCS. I knew it would take up quite a bit of time. But it has been enjoyable thus far, seeing how banal people can be in discussions, and how myopic some people are, getting excited by irrelevant and trivial issues. Nonetheless, some of them are the ones in charge. Apart from putting in my worth, I shall not step on people's toes as that will leave a lasting reminder of the person that I am. I contribute the way I deem it fits, and thus far, it's been very positive. I think yesterday's recce trip was very fruitful, and I managed to ask all the questions - and they were all answered - so all in all, it was successful.

I also managed to secure a partner for the Social Nite. Huh it took me quite a while but in the end, it was not so difficult. I'm just hoping it will be a very memorable night, for all the right reasons.

And shopping's been very big on the agenda for every book out. That, my bank statements can testify to. So far, I have secured some very useful items that will not only provide style and comfort, but also, longevity hopefully. But I am very sure there will be no end to the shopping. As long as there is a weekend, there will be some shopping to do.

Just as how I opened my Medical School Personal Statement, I really believed the tree is growing more roots. With these roots, the tree can only grow stronger, reaching far higher than it ever thought possible. The roots are unrelentless, holding to the very soil, each and every grain of it. And the roots traverse in all directions. Yet, the roots still perform a symbiotic function of holding the tree up, firm and turgid. Yes, that is me. This, I will never forget.

:)

Saturday, May 20, 2006

renewal

i need an update and this weekend, even though it's the most hectic one yet, i'll do it. haha InsyaAllah.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

to not let up

It's a tough tough tough round. I just hope I make it in. InsyaAllah.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

eh wait, was that an interview? hmmm...

What was supposed to be a university application interview turned out to be a warm insightful conversation! That was the delightful surprise I had today, when I went for my SMU Interview at the School of Economics and Social Science. The 2 profs, who didn't introduce themselves (why?!) were just very friendly to begin with. The ponytailed one. Oh my God! He's a great conversationalist thankgod. Its a fitting end to the week, especially after I had to endure a day of doing nothing at all, stuck in SAFTI, doing CDS on a GOOD FRIDAY! nevermind, Timothy says he will do for me when it's Hari Raya! HAHAHA! Ahhh, I took the plunge, now I wait for the outcome.

I am in an introspective mood right now. I need to; it is at this stage that I need to think more and write more about who I am and what I am going to be.

An Officer Cadet's Dilemma

So now the circle of friends I have always known are fully into the system. By that I mean they are all serving their NS liability. Kopi just enlisted into BMT while Adz is in SCDF (as an ERS?! I am not well-versed with the CD stream...). Meanwhile, Zat is a vehicle technician while Abang is a clerk - they're PES C to begin with. And on the other hand, the four of us are in OCS: Rudy, solo in Tango. Iylia and Jau together at Delta. And myself stranded at Foxtrot.

Ever since we entered OCS, there hadn't been an opportunity for us to meet up on the weekend book out. None whatsoever. It will be a challenge to find the right time and the right place. I suppose next week may provide the answer, but that remains to be seen, since Kopi's not through with his confinement period yet.

What has happened thus far in OCS is so varied, so intense at times, even so dry and naggy, that I can't seem to find a word to describe it all. One fleeting moment, I would feel very motivated to perform well, and the next, I could not find a reason why I chose to enter command school. I want to work hard, yet I also want to 'slack'. At times, I felt that I shouldn't be there - this I felt quite often - but I know life would be even worse elsewhere.

My peers dream about which vocation they prefer to join come Pro Term, and even beyond Commisioning Day, and they speak excitedly about it too. Yet I can't foresee myself even undergoing the next month of training. The fact of the matter is that OCS is truly like giving birth to a child, or should I say an officer. By this, I just gave you an analogy. Firstly, it takes one 9 months (or 38 weeks, roughly) to complete OCS. On top of that, it is a gruelling pain if one is not prepared and one chooses to 'heck care'. And there are dropouts just as there are miscarriages, owing to injury, either past or present, or a lack of integrity, or actually anything under the sun really. There is even an OCS Tunnel that is akin to the mother's womb. That is where YSLs (Young Second Liutenants) march out from, upon being commisioned. Alas, he becomes a newborn Officer. I can sense how proud mothers are when they put that Single Black Bar on their son's shoulders, and how proud that YSL is of himself too. It symbolises a great achievement for anyone, as OCS is never a stroll in the park. Yet I can't foresee that happening to myself. I am in a very privileged position to be chosen as an Officer Cadet among the scores of recruits. However, I can't see myself as a military man. Not in the army. In the airforce? Please, isn't it obvious? Navy maybe? Perhaps if I was accorded a contract offer which never beckoned. I sense a little discriminatory practice but I was possibly one of the least cut-out for such careers, at least that's what I choose to believe. These are men who are more suitable, and they are rightly chosen.

But why not just carry on, make the best of my current predisposition? It is because I have set my mind on medicine, that's why. Medicine studies at NUS open up the option to disrupt, a very tempting and advantageous decision that I will surely make if I were offered acceptance into the Yong Loo Lin Sch Of Medicine. The time to disrupt will be sometime in June, before classes commence a month or so later. That is probably the only thing I can think about right now: the chance to enter Med Sch. This kind yet ferocious gentleman by the name of Mahesh has begun to understand my psyche. He has tended to a hoarde of men before me, from as many diverse backgrounds as there are new Pap candidates :) . He thinks it is better to commision first, then leave for Med Sch. I have a senior who followed that path but I chooose not to trace it. It is better for myself to go straight this year as that means I would not lose out to the fairer sex of my batch. My gentlemanly instructor knows that. But he wants me to at least fulfill my duties as a cadet, for personal satisfaction. And I fully agree with his opinion. I have to come up with a different motivation, as thinking too much about Med Sch may not do myself justice in OCS. I will step up and refocus my drive on something else - surely there's something else I can find! - and there will be more strength to carry on. At the rate I am going, I will get nowhere and that is not me. I may dislike the army and its regimentation, but I have section mates who love it to the core and without me, they may be useless, or at a bigger disadvantage to achieve what they have set to achieve in OCS. I should utilise all of my capabilities, to the best of my ability. Only then can I show them that I truly know what I want, and that is still, to be a doctor.

Friday, April 07, 2006

freedom!

Hey hey heya!
After 3 weeks of confinement, this bookout feels superduper shiok la. I really think OCS is kind of messy. It messed up my life thus far I must say. I met so many new people, people I've never ever seen before in my life. On top of that, the whole culture of OCS came as a shock to me. OCS is worlds apart from HAWK Coy. Life is going to be tough man. Will update when I have more time. Oh and I think I have screwed my MPA interview. Really. I didn't even try to sell myself. Hopeless. I hope they still want me. But NUS!!! How come no letter yet? InsyaAllah, sooner or later please. Please! Ok... selamat. Maybe I'll just go RJC Official Opening tomorrow.


And guess what, I have Cadet Duty Sergeant duty on Good Friday! WELL DONE! This is not an extra, but rather the luck of the draw. Damn.

Monday, March 20, 2006


yeah right, there is no hair. :) i shall never cut hair in ocs. ocs here i come! solat is power!

Question: Can guys wear tudung?

IYLIA must have gone to see a trichologist, hairs don't grow that fast!

KOPI managed to grow an AFRO while still waiting for enlistment

RUDY suddenly grew hair

OCS

Tomorrow, I and probably around 800+ other guys enter OCS. And I'm still online. I had to fill up some scholarship writeup because I hear, there'll be a 3 weeks confinement? OMG, my hp battery can't last that long. This is a time to ration. =p yes that's right. And the duffle bag's so heavy. I'm trying to stuff everything inside. I hope I get a very hip and happening buddy. Haha. :)

I feel contented I found this person's blog today. That person had been such an inspiration and probably doesn't know. But I prefer it this way. The ideas that that person unearth are complex, intriguing and give you reasons to think. I like that. :)

Goodnight, and once more, SOLAT IS POWER BROTHER!

Sunday, March 19, 2006


i love the zebra on my chest!

izzat and abd hafiz sorting out books in our little effort to help clean up the PERTAPIS library. "simple job!" said the ustadz.