F.artMed did our own research and discovered that huge difference in racial representation at the JC level. Thus, we sent our team to a premiere school in the Bishan-Ang Mo Kio district to find out their views. Here's what we found:Reporter: Hi Guys, don't mind for an interview?
Arabs: Ya Hababi, i mean Ya Habibi. Ahlan Wasahlan. I tell you, velcome, velcome to our premiere school.
Reporter: Thanks, comments guys, what do you thi...
White Scarf: Vait a minute! How do you know that ve are guys? How you see through this veil Mr Reporter?
Reporter: (peering beneath the canteen table) Hairy legs.
White Scarf: Oops. You are right. I am male. But good guess anyway.
Reporter: As I was saying, what do you think is the reason for Malays to be so poorly represented in JCs?
Black Scarf: Don't even ask. I am still saddened by the death of our great King Fahd.
Reporter: Ooh who is that? Sounds like my company.
Black Scarf: How dare you insult zhis greatest king! How am I going to go zthrough zhis Ramadhan like zhis!
Reporter: Sorry Mr..Mr.. ah nevermind. So the reason is?
Red Scarf: Munnjens*. The stinking munjens. How else you think they are so vell-represented? I tell you, if not for my A Levels, I vould have started planning bombs I tell you.
Reporter: That would be too drastic, wouldn't it? I'm sure that's not the only reason.
(Meanwhile a hot office lady walks past the canteen table and there was a tremendous flutter in the lower abdomen region of the robes of these Arabs, with rapid synchronised chanting of Marha!Marha!)
Reporter: So what are other reasons?
Black Scarf: I zthink Malays are sloth! Lazy and cannot be bothered about zhis exams. In Arabia, we would get circumsized again if we fail zhis exams.
Reporter: My lord! Good heavens.
Red Scarf: Yes, Mr Reporter, stop stating the obvious. Heaven is of course good. But you can't go there, zhe heavens, can't even get a smell of it. You're not circumsized!
Reporter: But I am.
White Scarf: But zhere is no proof!
Reporter: (taking out his wallet) Here, my foreskin.
Red Scarf: Ah, my father can get you certified Halal.
White Scarf: You see, we study study study then pray pray pray to zhe Almighty. So, you get that extra luck.
Reporter: Oooh I see. Better remember to pray during church and stop looking at chio bu.
Black Scarf: Oh poor Mr Reporter, you can't pray in zhis school though. You see, zhis group of sahabats* we tried very very hard to get our principal to give us a room to pray. Sadly, our requests were turned down.
Reporter: Then what happened?
Red Scarf: We really tried very hard. Turned to many zifferent zifferent teachers. But nothing. So we know if we were to jihad, we would get caught and no more A Levels. So, we prayed in corners, outside zhe toilets...you know...
Reporter: Back to the question. How are we going to improve the turnover rate then? Getting more Malays into JCs...
White Scarf: We can't allow zhis bookshop to sell cigarettes. So option number 1, out.
(Suddenly a sudden pungent smell wafted across the table as a few white boys walked past our table, uniforms in disarray, then a sudden smell of mint mixed with deo)
White Scarf: The other option is to make the entrance exam easier.
Reporter: Oh, how so? You mean allowing people with a raw score of 21 points and above to enter?
Black Scarf: No you fool! Let zhem take zheir specialist subjects.
Red Scarf: Yes. 1) Football. 2) Minah. 3)Motorcycle. 4) Food. 5) Relacking one corner.
Reporter: Oh my gosh. Those aren't subjects!
Red Scarf: Oh yes, MOEdu now vants us to be "Zhinking schools, learning nation". Ve took chemistry and biology, with zhe Special paper in biochemistry vwarfare.
Mic Man: Boss, simi lan cheow. I kena mosquito bite already. Boss hurry leh. The New Paper say here got dengue wait I kena how?
Reporter: It seems to me that none of your solutions can work. Really. So there is no hope for Malays?
White Scarf: But zhere's still hope.
Reporter: How?
White Scarf: Like ZHIS! URGH!(shoving his hairy Arab palm into the Reporter's crotch, he started tingling sensations to cause arousal.)
Red Scarf: YA HOSSAM! WAH AL HASOD AFNMNA ASNMCC MIAD (exotic arab lingo, can't find translation)
A few minutes later, at the sick bay while receiving treatment,
Reporter: (half stuttering) Guys, one last question, h-how do you become inconspicuous dressing l-like that? F.artMed concluded that the interview had not been succesful in finding out the real causes for disparate representation of races. So, til the time Mr Reporter recovers, F.artMed will continue our unflinching research toward the betterment of society. Index |
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